Thinking About Marriage Counseling

People have different thoughts and feelings about seeking marriage counseling, some positive, some negative, and some just unsure. Interestingly, most couples do not get counseling before they divorce. This exercise is designed to help you sort out your own thoughts and feelings about getting some formal marriage counseling to help you with the challenges you are experiencing in your marriage.

Have you had some marriage counseling before? If yes, how was that experience for you? Was it helpful? Did you give an honest effort or could you have done better? Why did you stop going?

How comfortable do you think you would feel getting marriage counseling? Write down some of your thoughts and feelings about the following questions. Also, think about how your spouse might answer these questions.

Are you willing to take an honest look at yourself and your part in how your relationship is struggling and how it could be improved?

Your feelings:

Your spouse’s feelings:

Are you willing to allow a marriage counselor help you learn to communicate more effectively with your spouse?

Your feelings:

Your spouse’s feelings:

How willing are you to share deep, personal thoughts and feelings in a counseling session?

Your willingness to discuss feelings:

Your spouse’s willingness to discuss feelings:

How willing are you to do “homework” assignments to work on your relationship outside of marriage counseling, if your counselor asks you to?

Your willingness:

Your spouse’s willingness:

Overall, how comfortable do you think you would be with marriage counseling?

Your feelings on the subject:

Your spouse’s feelings on the subject:

If you belong to a religious organization, do you know if it offers some type of marriage counseling?
No Yes.

If yes, do you think you would feel more or less comfortable with counseling from a religious leader?
More comfortable Less comfortable.


Look at suggestions on how to find a good marriage counselor. Then, if you were to decide to get some counseling, write down how you would go about finding a good marriage counselor.

  • If you decide to get marriage counseling, how would you pay for it? Although some religious organizations offer free counseling, secular counselors charge a fee. Does your insurance company pay for marriage counseling? Yes No Unsure.
  • If your insurance company will pay for marriage counseling, how many sessions will they help pay for? sessions. (You may need to consult with your insurance company or employer’s human resources department to find this out.) If you would need to pay for marriage counseling yourself, how much would you be willing to pay? $ . (Keep in mind how expensive a divorce can be; effective counseling is less costly.)
  • So overall, how willing do you think you and your spouse would be to get some marriage counseling? (Check the box that fits best.)
Not at all Willing A Little Willing Somewhat Willing Very Willing
Your Spouse


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